Monday, July 23, 2012

Squeak?

Just wanted to say how sorry I am that
I've been as quiet as a Mouse...

...for so long.


Truth be told, I've been feeling simply broken, and I think
I've just finally admitted to myself that what I thought was the Winter Blues
was really a bad case of chronic depression. (Yup, it's July, hmmph?) ;-)
Not sure why I feel so ashamed to talk about it, since intellectually I know
it's a physical medical condition just like Diabetes or any ailment, but...


So anywho, long story short:
I lost my voice rather completely,
but I'm going to try and get it back starting today!


Much Love,


P.S. Thank you so much for your lovely emails letting me know that Google Reader is sending out blank posts all by itself. I found out that Feedburner is broken as well, and I'll do my best to fix them as soon as I can wrap by migraine-brain around it all.

83 comments:

sbpoet said...

Welcome back!

Miriam Prantner said...

Man, it seems like one thing after another. You have been missed though!

-Aina- said...

I wish you well soon, take care of yourself and do what YOU want to.♥

Marianne said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a miserable time. I do hope you'll somehow find yourself in an upward spiral again.
I'm happy, though, that you let us know you're still out there. Take care. Sending you warm hugs, Marianne

Priscilla said...

You have been missed but don't fret. Depression is very common in these hard times, just think of all your membership to your blog
4 thousand three hundred eighty seven kindred spirits that love your creativity, whenever you decide to share.

Ps. mouse is adorable.

Beth Norman said...

Poor Mel. You've been battling this for a very long time. I've been there and know what a struggle it can be, and I really hope that you feel better soon. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs,

Beth

cheryl l. said...

So sorry, and I hope you get some help to conquer this. Love the cat and mouse picture! Animals always bring a smile to my face.

Take care of your self!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Please, please, please don't feel ashamed to talk about it. The best part is that you are conquering it and this is one of the first and hardest steps. So empower yourself and kick its A--!!!!! You can do it.

We love you and will be patiently waiting while you do the best things for YOU.

Hang in there kiddo. It's all about to get much, much better!

Vicki said...

Hi Mel,
I live in Vancouver too.
With our terrible weather, we haven't really had summer.
Who wouldn't be depressed!
I hope you feel better soon, and aren't too hard on yourself.
I'd love to take you to coffee if you're in the city.
We have a wonderful stamp group that meets the last Saturday of the month.
Take care of yourself.
Vicki

Tammy said...

♥ I suffer from depression too and can completely relate to your post. Sending buckets of tea and sympathy your way :)

Sandy said...

Oh Mel - I am so sorry that you have gone through this. I think most of us do at one time or another. I also think that many people have mood swings - up for a while then down for a while. It seems like the news has so much bad and economically so many of us have been affected in a negative way. One day at a time sweet lady - one creation at a time.
Sandy

li-marie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
li-marie said...

Hey Mel, nothing at all to feel ashamed about and shouldnt be treated like a dirty secret. You have lots of people who care about you and are wishing you a speedy recovery. Look after yourself and do what makes you happy. We'll all still be here when you are ready to come back

xx

Annette said...

i enjoy, ok LOVE looking at your creations, what an inspiring crafter! i hope you take care and remember how special you are :)

Jennette Warren said...

Big Hugs Mel!!!

Dolphina said...

Take good care of yourself...
Sending warm hugs to you :)

Heidi Brawley said...

Oh I hope you start feeling AWESOME soon. I miss seeing your Amazing creations!!! Hugs!!!!

Crafting Aberrigines said...

awww...Mel..
You will get over it and I know you would and then you would be back with a huge kaboom !! :)
come onn...you need time or yourself too..take your time and be healthy and cheerful :)
hugs
Kalindi

June K said...

I'm sorry you are going through some rough times. I had notice your blog had not been popping up in my Google Reader and had thought of you. Do take care. Hugs.

Dawn said...

GIANT HUGS, MEL!!! I have missed you.... chin up my friend.. just keep swimming!
watch my llama slide show, sure to give you a smile!!!=)

SuzyMcQ said...

Take good care, Mel. We'll all be here when you are feeling better. Miss you, but you and your health always should come first. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Elaine said...

Mel don't feel ashamed to speak about it , it happens, and we all have to deal with it in our own way.
I have been diagnosed for many years now , most days/weeks/months I am a happy go lucky person, the fun one that everyone wants to be around .....and then wham !!! I am back down like a stone .
What has happenned now is the best thing to happen for you, you now recognise what is going on and you can start to react to it , but take things easy, dont try too hard too fast, give yourself time and you will be back on track in no time at all .
Get all the help you can from your GP, friends and family and stick to it , things will brighten up but dont rush it. You have a lot of supporters here and I am sure they are supporting you at home . Take care and a big welcome back you are on the right track hun Hugs Elaine

Anonymous said...

You have been missed, but please, take all the time you need.

Wendy

teepee said...

Mel,we've missed you, but now, I'm praying that you will feel 100% better soon. Focus on you for a while, and we'll be fine.

Margie said...

Ah Mel, you give us so much of yourself, its time to take stock of things and just think about what you want to do. I think recognising the problem is often the hardest part, then you know what you are up against and can get it licked. All in your own time - your friends will all be here 'til then. x

Anesha said...

One step at a time and your will feel better. Love your photo of your sweet cat. Take care. Hugs Anesha

Melinda said...

I can relate.

BSI said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been depressed. You need to put yourself first and do whatever it takes to get you to where you want to be.

I love your blog and appreciate all your wonderful creations that you share so generously. Wishing you sunshine and smiles. =)

cindy said...

A great big wish for all to be right in your world really soon. Please do not be embarrased...just be glad you know what is causing you to feel so bad! I will keep you in my prayers for sunnier days ahead!

Bonnie said...

Sending hugs, gain strength from all of this support sitting as close as your screen. Look after yourself and we will be here when you are ready

Judy P. said...

I don't often send comments, but felt the need to wish you well. I really appreciate you and all you do. Thank you and remember, the sun will come out tomorrow. Sending loving thoughts to you.

lritchie said...

Hi Mel, I've been there and still do depression, keep your chin up girl and good for you for being open and honest about it. Unfortuanately, there is so much stigma associated with mental health. Make sure you get the help you need if you can't do it on your own. I live across the pond in Victoria if you ever want to talk.

Lori

chris said...

Glad to see you back, just take things at your own speed...we will all still be here
as others have said depression is more common than you think...i am also a sufferer, please take advantage of all the help there is out there and take care
chris x

Corbett Creations said...

Oh Mel - sending you a large rainbow to brighten your way and hopefully it leads you to yourself again. Truly miss your beautiful creations but in your absence have enjoyed reliving your earlier works. Great big hugs to you and your little mouse from Australia xx

jperr said...

Hi Mel blessings to you I too suffer with depression also,have been on meds for over 14 yrs now and oh how different the world looks to me now,not all black,and I feel like I fit in the world.Just like being a diabitic some of us need meds to see all we need to be grateful for.
Good luck in finding relief.
Jocelan

Maureen said...

Hi Mel! Sorry to see you're down but I know where you're coming from as I suffer from depression as well. Meds have done wonders for me as well as therapy. Hope you find something that helps soon! Big hugs!!

Scrappin' Annie said...

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Missed your beautiful work. You can win the battle....

Adrenalina said...

well.. time to start talking!! we missed you and waiting for your beautiful creations!!!

SiskiyouSue said...

Depression just puts you in the same boat as a lot of us! I'd say welcome, but that really doesn't fit, does it? But I'm glad you have realized what is happening, but that's the beginning of a brighter day! You have been missed, I'm glad you're back.

suruha said...

Gosh! Look at the responses! LOL I guess you might say people noticed.

Sweet lady, I have depression and am even on disability for it. It is THAT debilitating. I've had it since the early 90's, tied all the meds and have even gone inpatient for it - several times. The first thing is that you recognize it. That is crucial. Once you realize what it is you can address it. Bringing it to your doctor's attention is the next thing to do. There are so many ways to treat depression! And, yo are right, it is a disease just like any other.

I have learned other ways to keep it at bay besides the medications, but, they can do wonders! When you can't put two thoughts together, with the meds, it is as it should be - you can think. Meditation helps, as do other ways. For me, changing my thinking helped me live with it, at least. I get times when it is really bad. Those were the times that frightened me the most. But, I always come through the very dark times, so, I tell myself that. It helps me to realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will pass!

If there is any thing I can help you with, all you have to do is send me an e-mail. But, I mainly want you to know you are not alone. You know you can allow yourself the time to take care of you. LOL Why it is we forget that, I don't know, but, I do the same thing. LOL

A friend,

Su

Lalo said...

I hope you feel better. Nothing to be ashamed about. You're one of my paper crafting idols and so super nice to the craft world (with all your freebies and inspirations). Can't wait to see what you have in store for us :)

WoeNelly said...

Mel, as many have already said... do what you need to do to feel better and take it one step at a time. We are all rooting for you.

~Linda N

NĂ¡gela said...

Mel,
It's great to have you back.
Improved!!!!!

Debbie J said...

Welcome back, Mel. With a father and brother who suffered from severe depression, I know you might feel no one will understand and somehow there is something to be ashamed of. DON'T BE ASHAMED. This is a real medical condition, but you can overcome. Best of luck to you. Missed you and am praying for you.

Morena Ciambra Dreamartdolls said...

XXXOOO

Shelly Schmidt said...

Here is a HUGE {HUG} for you! I have missed your posts and have been thinking of you- I hope you will find some sunshine in your day and some help battling the blues : )

Holly said...

Mel there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of - in fact you should be proud that you have admitted you have this problem and you need help for it. I'm glad that you have taken that first step to getting your life back. Depression is not something you have done or can control - it's usually a chemical imbalance and the right medication will do wonders for you!

linda from arizona said...

Sure did miss you! In this day and age who isn't depressed? Hope you feel better soon. Take your time, you have a lot of friends out here in blog land.

EELS said...

Big hugs Mel and chin up and try to smile. I think lots of us go through phases of feeling 'down' so you're certainly not alone.
Now they say laughter is the best medicine so you need to find someone/something to give you a good chuckle.

Best of luck,
cheers,
Elaine

Katie Bolinger said...

I am going through a miserable depression, partially because of the death of my father last month, and it IS hard to talk about.

Knowing this is a physical condition is the first step to getting well. Seeking profession help is the next step. Unlike diabetes and other ailments there are no life choices that led us to depression it's just what happened to us.

Hope you are feeling better soon. Take as much time as you need.

(BTW most creative people go through periods of depression - and you are one seriously creative person).

Erin said...

Glad to see you are back. I hope you take some time to focus on you and your needs. I wish you the best on getting back on your feet and feeling well.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you good woman. BIG ole hugs to you! There have been times when I've struggled with depression too. So know I'm cheering for you. Just having those awful migraines so often would be enough to make me depressed! Love to hear from you whenever you're up to it!! Your creativity is simply amazing.
Beth Greco

Leslie Hanna said...

Aw, {{hugs}}. We're here for you when you're ready. Now go cuddle with that precious fur-baby. xo

primary practice said...

Hi Mel, Blessings and prayers that this will pass soon, and you will feel stronger and lighter each day. Thinking of you.

Patti
primary practice

Micki said...

Hi Mel, depression sucks and sometimes even my craft room doesn't entice me out of it. Hang in there! Big hugs.

Irish Eyes said...

Mel,

So happy that you are on your way back. There is no shame in what you are going through. It takes tremendous strength and courage. Thank you for sharing!

Jeannie said...

I miss you. I've suffered myself so I do understand. Have you ever tried tapping (EFT) for your migraines? I've had wonderful results with such a simple free technique that you can learn quickly. Just google "EFT Tapping Migraines" or ask me for more information.

Debra said...

So glad you're back. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed about depression. It's getting to be more and more common and so very important to take care of yourself!
Does crafting help? Take care and be good to yourself.

paperpapier said...

So sorry to hear about that you suffering from depression, Mel. Go and hang out with friends, take some fresh air. Hang on there, Mel. I wish you'll have speedy recovery and please bear in mind that all your blogger fans are 100% behind you. If you need to talk just about anything, you can drop me email.
sending you caring hugs from Malaysia,
Heaney xx

Holly M said...

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so broken and blue. Please know that you have many people who, although have never met you, still love and admire you. I'm one of them. I have a condition that often debilitates me, so I can't get out very often. Your art blog brings me such joy. I wish you well, and send healing thoughts your way.

Lola G. said...

I'm reaching over to remind you to remain as kind and gentle as possible with yourself. When you can, be sure to reach out to those who can embrace you exactly where you are, the ones who don't need you to be jolly if you're not. Darkness can be so very lonely.

Karla said...

I have missed you. Sorry to hear of your struggles. Depression sucks but help is out there. Good luck!!

rush said...

depression happens to the best of us. mine affects my ability to make art of any kind, and that is so frustrating.

Kate P. said...

Hi Mel - you're not alone there hun, I've been through it myself and it's not easy to be creative while feeling down. Know we are here and travelling along on this journey with you. Sending hugs,
Kate

B : ) said...

don't be a hero - take the meds meant to cure the depression - and you may find it cures the migraines too. Best of luck.

Maggie said...

You are surrounded by love. I'm sending buckets of white light.
Miss you
Love your Aunt in ont.

Linda said...

Hi Mel,
I have missed you, when I miss you I pray for you more cause you seem to create and share so fully, or suffer fully. Reading the comments I think that a lot of us, your followers, have come to love you as we can identify with you so well.. except that your creativity goes way beyond mine. You are not alone in this, depression has been a struggle in my life too. you are loved!

Anonymous said...

You need never to apologize for not getting blog stuff done. It's always just a bonus for us to hear from you. You have another life that deserves your time. I'm sending you warm thoughts of comfort, so you can take all the time you need to feel like the self you really are, deep down inside.
Karen

Susan King said...

Get well soon!! (from Susan in far away Vancouver)

Kelly said...

Hey I know how you have felt. I had post par tom after my second son...it is hard to get back to the norm when you don't feel like it. Take it easy and get out every day. We are all thinking of you.

Nancy said...

Hello,

I have suffered with depression since my late teens. I spent many years doing self help before my doctor said it was time to try medication to help me and get my life back. I've been taking meds for 10 years and I'm so glad; I'm back! I still have blue moods, but instead of being stuck in the cracks I know that the moods are telling me I need to work on something and not just a chemical imbalance keeping me stuck. My mom used to ask me when I would stop taking my mediation and be better; I told her how she would feel if she stopped taking her medications, then she understood that it is a chemical issue just like hers. I am grateful that I found something to assist me and I hope you find what you need too.

luv nancy

vdoyle8 said...

Mel, you give so much to others, I'm glad you are realizing it's time to help yourself. I've dealt with chronic depression since my teens but really was only diagnosed 15 years ago. I've been on medication since then and it's the best thing I've ever done. I understand you feeling the way you do - I did also. But now I share freely with others that I am on medication because I hope it helps someone else to get help.
Prayers for you, Mel. You will feel better soon!

Carol T said...

Just to let you know. YOU ARE A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON TO ALOT OF US!! I found out that I was a type 1 diabetic in the beginning of
2010. Your blog helped me get through the hard time of learning how to deal with this disease. By giving me something to think about & make with all your beautiful designs. I am very greatful that you were there for me. Even if you didn't know it. Take one day at a time. I'm doing really good with my diabetics now!! My prayers are with you!!

Debbie said...

Mel,

I also suffer with chronic depression. This is my favorite time of year, Summer, but for some reason I'm having trouble getting excited about it. And that frustrates me because I know I'm missing out and will be even sadder. Haven't figured out how to push past these episodes.

You are very creative and I look forward to all of the things that you share with the crafting world. I miss you, but understand and wish you well.

Best wishes to you now and later.

Debbie

Charlene said...

I'm so happy your back!
Sending happy thoughts your way!
Charlene

kiala said...

Hugs <3

Kathy said...

I hope you are back to your old soon.

KmoRakefet said...

OH not you. I have it too :-(.
Hope you'll feel better !

Dipti said...

Dear Mel,
Hang in there girl! It's unfortunate but creative and brilliant and genius types like you suffer through such bad patches as a backlash of all your restless energy. We sail in the same boat and I take inspiration from you all the time. Welcome back crafty lady!
Love,Dipti

Savannah O'Gwynn said...

I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way....Keep looking up:) Hang in there!!! HUGS! <3

Anonymous said...

Welcome mel!!!!
Love your design...
We all suffer of the down
We all feel blues....
Its a normal human condition...
The most important is to always have a reason to live
Somthing that force us going out of the bad....
Anything
Life is hard but it worth it
Kids or pets or friends , good ones :::))))
Lets stand up and smile.....
Kisses

txexperiment said...

My 29 year old daughter just spent 2 weeks in a mental health facility after battling this for many years. She is now in aftercare and I am so glad that she is finally getting the help she needs. She is doing better with meds and therapy, but it will be a constant battle to maintain.

Don't be ashamed to seek help. There are so mnay others out there who are in your situation and there are so many good therapies and meds these days that will help you back up again in no time!

You are so talented and generous to all of us and we do appreciate you! Get well soon!

Chris said...

HIya I was just sailing around cyberspace, I need to make an anniversary card for my folks.
I often come here for inspiration as well as the rampant abundance of delicious paper designs!
I get depression too and it is brave of you to talk about it. I hope things Improve for You, Everyone deserves to be Happy, especialy when they don't think so.
Chris x